I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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