This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize