your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
