Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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