I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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