Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
