So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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