You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
