Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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