I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Randomize