If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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