It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
