Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
