He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
