tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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