My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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