and you said cock pushups were impossible
P.S. I can't hear my feet
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
