Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
