I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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