i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
