I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's always time for handjobs
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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