i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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