doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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