and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do herpes really smell.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
