Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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