We got so high we made milksteak
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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