Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
