Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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