I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
