This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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