If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
