I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
His nipple licking is glorious
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