Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
