Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
