i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
