she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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