hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
