I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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