it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
