I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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