everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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