She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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