He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize