On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
