I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
