my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
