got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize