my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
