Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
