I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
