Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
