Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
