meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well you can't waste a boner
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
