Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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