she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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