so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
