so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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