you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
