you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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