His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
