it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
