So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
