I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
