is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize