Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
