someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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