it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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