please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
