super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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