He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
