i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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