i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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